Interfluidity is born at a moment where I feel a spontaneous desire, perhaps even some desperation, to write. Now as it was always, I am provoked into writing because something is wrong.
Something is not flowing. Something is blocked. At one level, this is something akin to writers' block. But it is goes beyond that, because it was never my ambition to be a writer, exactly. At a broad level, I feel I have something to contribute, there is something that I'm supposed to do or have done, and I've not succeeded in doing it. Interfluidity is my attempt somehow to flow, to get all the things I am thinking and trying out there, even on a page made of electrons and other peoples' eyes.
I'm skeptical of myself these days. My recent track record has not been one of success. There are a thousand projects started and never quite completed. (This is my second blog, here's the first.) I've taken foolish risks financially, and therefore foolish losses. I've tried, so far without success, to reintegrate myself into the academic world. I'm feeling closed-in, stuck, at a loss. So here's a new page, upon which I will try yet again to flow.
I am not a humble person. There are things I have to contribute that could really matter, that could be revolutionary even. But so long as it all remains closed-up in the hollow cavity of my skull, who gives a shit? Interfluidity.
|Steve Randy Waldman — Thursday March 2, 2006 at 11:10am||permalink|